Meet the Parents
by turn out fine
Summary: James decides that it's about time for his parents to meet his girlfriend, who they may or may not have heard so much about. fluff and embarrassing baby pictures ensue. /jily


for ql, round four. chaser one, cannons. using prompts: ground, bird, leaping, and starting and ending with the word Potter

* * *

"Potter Manor? really James, that's where you're taking me?'

"Merlin, it's not called "Potter Manor" for the sixty- seventh time, and yeah, my parents thought it was about time that they meet this beautiful redheaded friend of mine."

"'Beautiful redheaded friend', talked a lot about me at home, have you?"

"All day long, you should hear me. No but seriously, Lils, i'm not a creep who only talks about my girlfriend all day. I talk about you so not often-ly, my parents barely even know that we're together."

* * *

"Lily, how nice to meet you! No need to call me Mrs. Potter, you can call me Gina. I've heard loads about you from my son, as Sirius would probably be able to confirm.

"Ha, James, you liar, they've heard _loads_ about me."

"More then loads, heaps. Even before i was a permanant resident, just as a visitor, you were a non-exhaustable topic of dinner-table conversation. 'There's this fit bird, Lily Evans, who won't even give me the time of day.' 'I wonder if today will be the day that Lily will notice me.' and now that the two of you have resolved all that sexual tension between you, James goes out of his way to instert you into every goddamn thing. 'Please pass the pudding, and I have a girlfriend, her name is Lily-"

"Sirius shut it, I swear,"

"Boys, enough bickering, why don't we all sit down, so I can have some time to actually get to know the poor girl? Gracious, were have my manners gone? Would you like a cup of tea, Lily dear?"

* * *

"It's okay, Mum. I don't think Lily needs to see any more pictures of little me, nude with a bowl of food mashed into my head."

"I thought that was genius of me, that i could undress you before feeding time, to save you from the mess. You were a very slobby eater."

"James potter's naked body. Wonder what that looks like."

"Be quieter, we don't need Mum to hear us flirting and then necking right in front of her. Anyway, it's not like you've _ever_ seen my naked body. You know better then anyone how muscular and attractive I am. I'll strip gladly for you again, though, if we ever escape Mum's clutches."

"I'm looking forward. Anyway, i don't think these pictures are so bad, look at all the mashed peas in your hair! Adorable."

"What are you two lovebirds whispering about? I'm beginning to feel slightly left out. there are no pictures of me in this album even, despite the fact i was obviously the cuter baby, and the potter's perfect son. We need to start a scrapbook with Sirius."

* * *

"Are you lot _still_ looking at those old photos?"

"Unfortunately. Mooooony, save me and Lily. i don't think the pictures will ever end."

"You should be thanking your mum for recording the details of your day-to-day toddler life so...precisely."

"...here's the year that James had no front teeth at all. Thought he would imitate some famous Quidditch player, you see. He went leaping off the top of the bannister, all the way down. Needed several stitches from st. mungo's and a visit to the dentist for that one."

"Mum, I really don't think Lily cares."

"No James, I don't mind seeing these. That's really funny actually because I did that too as a kid! I was trying to jump off the top of my shed, though. I thought that If I landed hard enough, then I would make a hole in the lawn that would lead to China."

"Look at that, the two of you are the prefect match for each other!"

* * *

"I made ground meat and potatoes for supper tonight, James' favorite. Lily, bring your plate here first, tell me when i've given you enough meat."

"Um, i think i told you already, Lily's a vegetarian right now."

"Oh, I'm so, so sorry. I'm sure James told me, just everything's been so crazy lately with my husband always working late nights at the ministry."

"It's perfectly all right, we went for ice cream before coming here anyway."

"James! spoiling you appetite for dinner like that, I expect better."

"Have you ever know me not to eat a thing that was put before me on a plate?"

"No, I'm mostly surprised if the plate isn't ingested too."

"Mrs. potter-"

"It's Gina, love."

"So I hear you work as a journalist. It's a career path that really interests me, and i was wondering if i could ask a few questions?"

"When either of you talk about something you're passionate about, you get pretty single minded, so mum and Lily this journalism conversation might take a long time. Excuse me if I ask to finally have some ground meat before the two of you even get started?"

* * *

"I'm sorry about that, Lils. It must have been horrible for you."

"Are you kidding, Potter? I loved it."

"But-but Sirius was being snarky in the background, my father wasn't home at all, my mother showed a forest's worth of albums of embarrassing baby pictures, and you couldn't even eat the dinner!"

"Your mother's a darling, really. And i'll forget about this meeting the parent episode of the day, once you show me that followup to that baby picture that we were talking about."

"What? That one with my front teeth missing? You can help me pull out my last baby tooth, if you beg."

"Git."

"You really need to find some new names for me that aren't insults. I'd almost think you liked my family and "potter manor" more then me, if I didn't know better. Think maybe even calling me James might work."

"I'll work on it, Potter."

"Oh well, Potter's good enough, I suppose. But being called James will heal my wounded heart."

"Bloody hell, always so melodramatic, Potter."


End file.
